|
|
发表于 2012-3-8 10:50:24
|
显示全部楼层
The Mary-Sue Slayer (A Lord of the Rings Fanfic) P
chapter iv: flat-ass bitches
“she’s insane!” frodo cried. he tried to leap out from their hiding spot to rescue his friend,nike air yeezy 2, but aragorn held him back.
“no, frodo!” he refused him. “gandalf chose her for a reason… trust his decision…” he shut his eyes as a short silence fell on the group.
“… are you stupid!?” pippin scoffed, knitting his eyebrows together. aragorn opened his eyes with a light blush. and he had looked so awesome, too! thank you, pippin, for ruining his moment of glory.
“well, no-- i, uh…” he stuttered. but he stopped mid-ramble as something caught his eye. “look!” he pointed.
“no, you’re just trying to change the subject!” sam accused.
“no, really, look!”
“i’ll save you, meri-san!” tsukihime declared. she pointed her nose towards wolfy and her hostage (giving the night sky a full panty-shot) and dived towards them. she would save meri-san and the glory would increase her powers, surely.
perfect! wolfy thought. she dropped the knife, and switched for her hammer.
the horror was evident in the mary-sue’s face when she saw the girl’s weapon.
“iie! not da ban hameru!” she shrieked in terror, “i won’t be able to come back to life!” but it was too late for her to stop herself. wolfy pushed merry off to the side, and readied herself to strike. as soon as the sue hurtled close enough,nike air yeezy for sale, she swung.
thwack!
“itai!” tsukihime cried rolling backwards in the feather-littered grass. she came onto her knees, hands on her forehead. “itai, itai, itai yo!” she made a sound of disgust and pulled her frail hands down to examine them. strands of a mucus-like black fluid stuck her fingers. “ge!” it was then when merry promptly passed out. tsukihime’s face twisted in anger and pointed an accusing finger at wolfy. “you muthafuckin’ bitch!” she shouted, her voice suddenly as deep as a man’s. aragorn and the hobbits shared confused glances, while wolfy rolled her eyes.
“it’s normal.” she assured the others. “and quite funny, depending on your humor.” she giggled.
“what you say, skank!? oh, imma fuck you up,air yeezy!” tsukihime roared. aragorn snorted.
“she’s right,” he looked down at the hobbits, inviting them to laugh.
“shut da fuck up, girly bitch!” the pink-haired sue screamed at him, the black fluid still squirting from her forehead. aragorn immediately stopped his laughter and looked down to the ground. “all ya’ll dumb flat-ass bitches can suck mah big, hairy--” then without warning, she toppled forward, unmoving.
wolfy tucked her hammer back into its holder, and picked up her knife, sticking it away as well.
“alright.” she smiled and began to walk back into the inn. frodo turned to her as she made way past.
“that’s it?” he asked.
“that’s it.” she confirmed as she disappeared back inside. frodo looked back ahead.
“well then.” he mumbled. then shrugged, “i wonder if the bar’s still open.”
“um, i believe so.” strider smiled happily.
“then what are we waiting for!?” pippin piped. “i bet they’ll have whole pints of ale!”
and the happy party hurried inside.
except merry,nike air yeezy, but who cares about him? |
|
[复制链接]
IP卡
狗仔卡
楼主
显身卡
